Week 06

Isn’t it weird that we are already halfway through this journey?  Brother Williams has been a good person that has led not only me, but the whole class into this knowledge and has begun preparing us for dating, marriage, and everything relating to it.

Last week, we learned about dating and how to have a healthy serious relationship. This week, we learned about marriage and all the "tricks" for having a good marriage. Do you know that wedding costs 20k USD on average? Isn’t that crazy? Well, there are some families that can afford it, but what about those that cannot afford it? There are 3 ways for them to have a reception. They can ask the parents for money. However, when you ask your parents for money then you will feel obligated as if you owe them a debt. This debt is not money-related, but it would be more like a favor. Maybe the wedding should be themed a certain way the parent wants or them having a heavy influence on small decisions made about the wedding. I used to know this girl that was engaged. Her family did not want her to marry at that age, so the turned their back on her. The parents of his fiancé were able to pay for the whole wedding. I remember specifically the day they went to buy the wedding dress the bride had picked a dress that she loved, however, the mother-in-law did not like it. Since she was paying for the dress, she picked a different dress and said that the bride should choose that one even if she did not like it. The girl I knew had no other option but getting the dress the mother in law had decided on. This is the type of favors that you might owe.

Another way to get the money for the wedding is to get a loan. Probably the couple has a student loan already, so they will be even more in debt with the bank. To be honest, I have this belief that if you cannot afford something, you should not get a loan for it. Your wedding day is only one day out of your life, yet you will probably end up paying it off all the expenses for the next 3 years.

The third way is to use your savings. If you both have the same savings would be the ideal way to pay for the wedding, but what if one person has more savings than the other? This is something that is very likely to happen and can cause issues later in life. Brother Williams said that he had seen several couples with this problem. After 10 years of marriage, one of the spouses pulls out the fact that he/she paid more for the wedding. In my opinion, it is rather foolish to be using your savings to have a lavish wedding that in the end really is not for the couple but rather for the guest.

 The fourth way just does not spend that much money at a wedding, be realistic. The reception is for the guests, the new spouses are too busy and stress about this whole thing because they must make sure that everything is in order. There are some couples that cannot even get intimacy their first night because they are too tired due to the reception. I feel that the wedding is the first real trial of the couple.

The next big trial is to learn about the other and live together. There are many couples that decided to remain silent about some pitfalls that in the future will be an issue. I learned that you guys should be open about changes so the spouse is more comfortable. The biggest trial after these things is having children. Since the mom is closer to the new-born, the father gets a little jealous because they do not spend as much time as before with the mother. For this, the couple should have some time for themselves. They might set days to have a date night and go out and have time for each other. The key to a good marriage is good communication through this you will be able to understand your partners' feelings and grow closer together as you work to fulfill each other's needs.